Are You Healing or Coping?

I have to be honest with you about something…

A lot of what we call healing is actually just really sophisticated coping.

You get better at distracting yourself, staying busy, journaling, talking about it in therapy, venting to friends and partners, and even posting about it.

You’re saying, "I'm working on myself" and meaning it, kind of. But the feeling underneath is still there and it is still running the show.

Here's how I explain the difference:

• Coping is managing the symptom. Healing is addressing the source.

• Coping sounds like: I know I have anxious attachment so I give myself 24 hours before I respond to a triggering text.

• Healing sounds like: I understand why my nervous system goes into panic mode when someone pulls away and I've done enough work that it doesn't hijack me the way it used to.

See the difference? One is a workaround. The other is actual change.

And here's the thing: coping isn't bad. Sometimes you need the workaround just to get through the day.

But if you've been "working on yourself" for years and still feel stuck in the same patterns, same relationships, and the same version of yourself, it's worth asking: have I been healing, or have I just gotten really good at coping?

The clearest sign you're coping instead of healing is this:

• You understand your patterns intellectually but still can't stop them in real time.

• You know why you do what you do. You just can't seem to stop doing it.

That gap, between knowing and actually embodying change, is exactly where the real work lives.

🎙️ Letting Go of Someone Who Isn’t Choosing You

This week on the podcast I talk about why letting go of someone who isn't choosing you has more to do with you than them.

And the truth is, you can't logic your way through it because it's wired into your nervous system. You have to heal through it.

Listen Now 🎧

Join the Life in Focus Inner Circle

I keep hearing the same thing: “I’m healing, but it feels lonely.”

So I’m creating a space for the in-between.

I’m opening only 20 spots for the Life in Focus Inner Circle, a small, private monthly space for people who are serious about their healing and do not want to do it alone.

This isn’t a course or a content library. It’s a space where you sit with me and with others who are actually doing the work, not performing it.

Each month includes deeper work than I share publicly and a live call where we move through what you’re navigating in real time.

If this speaks to you, submit your application.

See you next Saturday ❤️

Suttida