From Grief to Growth

The day everything shifted didn’t start with a breakdown. It started with a loss…

My grandfather died on October 27, 2020.

He was the father I never had. Gentle, patient, wise. The kind of man who didn’t need to raise his voice to be heard. I admired him deeply. Respected him more than words can touch. When he passed, it felt like something sacred in me went quiet too.

I started grief therapy not to get over it but to survive it. What I didn’t know was that it would be the door into something bigger: childhood trauma therapy.

Because when you lose someone who represented the safety you never got elsewhere, it cracks something open. You start seeing everything differently.

Not just the grief, but the patterns. The survival modes. The ways you’ve been carrying pain that was never meant to be yours.

I’ll never forget what my therapist said after I told her how depressed I felt that he died the day before my birthday.

She said, “Maybe the connection between you was so strong, it’s his way of honoring you and reminding you that life still deserves celebration.”

I’ve held that ever since.

That’s when I learned about post-traumatic growth. The idea that deep pain, when processed with honesty and presence, doesn’t just leave scars. It creates clarity.

It doesn’t mean the trauma is a gift. It means you are.

It means you choose to alchemize it instead of pass it on.

One year into my healing journey, that growth showed up in an unexpected place: a friendship that was slowly bleeding me dry.

For almost three years, I poured myself into someone I cared about. I gave her everything—money, time, space, support. I paid for her through a brutal divorce. Let her use my credit card. Hired her. Listened to her when she had no one. I even invited her and her kids to join my family for a trip to Silverthorne after my grandpa died, hoping maybe it would give us both some space to breathe.

But the moment she arrived, she cried about her own pain, her post-divorce overwhelm. And I, in the middle of grieving the man who raised me, ended up comforting her. Again.

Not once did she ask how I was doing. Not once did she make space for my heartbreak.

That moment wrecked me. Because it exposed the truth I didn’t want to admit:

I was still trying to earn love by over-giving.

Still trying to prove I was worthy by being needed.

I was never going to be enough for someone who only saw me as an unconditional resource.

When I finally spoke up, when I started voicing my standards and needs, she disappeared. No apology. No repair. Just silence.

It hurt. But it also cleared the path.

Because loss does that. It strips away the noise and shows you who’s really with you.

And here’s the wild part. After all that, my business grew over 300%! Not because I chased growth. But because I stopped abandoning myself.

That’s the power of healing. It doesn’t just shift your inner world.

It shifts your life.

What I Wish I’d Read Sooner

The book Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? by Dr. Julie Smith cracked something open for me.

It didn’t try to fix me. It gave me language for what I was already living through. I found it early in my healing journey, and every chapter felt like being handed a flashlight in a dark room—practical, grounding, and full of gentle truth.

One line that stayed with me: “The goal isn’t to feel happy all the time. The goal is to get better at navigating whatever you feel.”

That reminder gave me permission to stop chasing perfection and start building emotional resilience instead.

You can check out the book and buy your copy here.

The Unlearning

Grief isn’t always loud. It doesn’t just show up when someone dies. Sometimes it creeps in when you realize you’ve spent years chasing something you never had—an emotionally safe home, a parent who saw you, friendships that weren’t one-sided. 

Grief can be subtle. It’s the hollow after you stop pretending certain things were normal when, deep down, you always knew they weren’t.

It’s not just mourning what’s gone. It’s mourning what you never got. The love you had to earn. The comfort you had to perform strength to receive. 

The boundaries you didn’t even know you were allowed to have. That’s the grief that shows up in healing… the grief that comes with unlearning.

Unlearning looks like this: 

• Realizing that love doesn’t need to be proven. 

• That your worth isn’t measured by how much you give or how well you endure.

• That your silence never actually kept the peace, it just made room for more chaos to grow.

• That you never have to abandon yourself in order to love and be loved.

And when you start breaking generational patterns, you begin to understand just how much you carried that wasn’t yours. 

• You don’t just stop old behaviors. 

• You stop believing the lies that created them. 

• You stop bending yourself to make others feel whole. 

• You stop apologizing for needing space, rest, or truth.

The unlearning is messy. 

It strips away your coping strategies before your new self has fully formed. But that’s where the growth is. In the in-between. In the choice to stay with yourself when everything in you wants to go back to what’s familiar.

This isn’t the kind of growth people clap for. And over time, it changes everything, not just how you show up, but how you love, lead, and live.

Work 1:1 with Me

I’ve gotten message after message asking: “Do you work with people 1:1?”

Truth is, I wasn’t planning to. But the more I kept hearing it, the more I realized, this space needs to exist.

So, I’m opening up 10 spots only for a one-month deep dive—real, personal, and honest.

This isn’t a group. Not a course. Not therapy. Not coaching. Not mentoring. Just you and me, focused on your healing and growth.

If this speaks to you, fill out the application.

Spots are limited to 10, and I’ll be reviewing each one personally. If selected, I’ll reach out directly to walk you through the next steps.

I’m looking forward to connecting and holding real space for your next chapter. 🙏

Suttida